<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I&rsquo;m at a nudist swingers resort in Aruba and I recognize one half of this foursome.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My friend Dan* and I was asking them questions about their relationship over dinner the other night. They were both in their mid-50s, and the man identified himself as a swinger by wearing a large black ring on his finger. The couple, who met after their separate marriages collapsed, is currently investigating having sex.</span></p>
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<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And judging by the sounds from the hot tub, they had a great time.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other night, we also met Sherri* and Paul* from Minnesota. High school sweethearts, they are now in their 30s, married with two young kids. Except Sherri also has a boyfriend; the duo decided to try polyamory a few years ago and are one of the most popular couples here.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I&rsquo;m getting ahead of myself: first thing&rsquo;s first, let&rsquo;s talk about how &lsquo;Hedo&rsquo; works.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are two areas; the nude side (you must be naked when outside your room) and the &lsquo;prude&rsquo; side (clothing optional).</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can have sex wherever, whenever, except for the dining areas for health and safety reasons. Fair enough, no one wants to accidentally burn their genitals on a buffet hot plate or pick pubes out of the salad.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There&rsquo;s a theme every night and dress-up is encouraged.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some people took this very seriously, like long-time visitor Betty*, who is in her 70s and wears just nipple tassels, knickers, knee-high boots and a hat or elaborate feather ensemble in her hair. Her loving husband George* created her looks every night; they even brought a glue gun along. I loved them.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At dinner, there was an erotic show with a group of ridiculously attractive in-house dancers responsible for getting people excited (read: horny) and this is where you suss out who you might want to play with later (not the dancers, they&rsquo;re off-limits).</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Surprisingly, it&rsquo;s quite a cliquey environment. Many people form groups for the whole week or are regulars who have been shagging each other for years.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dan and I felt a little out of place at first but eventually found our own crowd, &lsquo;the 30-somethings&rsquo;, who were very friendly and invited us to dinner.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Since we were two of only four Brits at the resort (though I&rsquo;m technically Swedish) many people seemed to have heard about our presence, which felt slightly odd. Yes, Americans really do love a British accent.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Our group was a hot commodity; not counting Young Swingers Week, which happens a few times a year, most guests are aged between 40-70 years old.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I&rsquo;d heard about Hedo from friends and colleagues.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a journalist, especially one who specializes in sex and relationships, I&rsquo;m a naturally curious person but I knew I didn&rsquo;t want to go alone. Dan was roped in by the idea of Caribbean sunshine. We&rsquo;ve been friends for the better part of a decade and I knew I&rsquo;d be safe and comfortable bringing him along.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, despite having reviewed sex clubs and erotic events in the past, I had never fully immersed myself in the experience until now, so this felt different and all the more exciting because of it.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The best part about being in a closed-off resort with unlimited alcohol is that anything can happen.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One evening, I sang to a crowd while standing atop a piano, wearing just knee-high socks (school night theme). I was fairly tipsy by that point so the nerves were pretty non-existent.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Being applauded by 50 people while naked is the sexiest I&rsquo;ve felt in my life.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Another night, I visited the coveted playroom, where guests can use items such as the sex swing, as well as enjoy two pools and a huge open-air bed that could easily fit 10-15 people. I&rsquo;m not just saying that; I spot multiple orgies throughout the week.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Clothes are not allowed in the playroom but you&rsquo;re welcome to bring toys and there&rsquo;s an on-site shop that sells kinky attire and goods, should you accidentally forget to pack a vibrator.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This building is for sex only. I was told off by a staff member when I tried to have a chat with a man instead of getting frisky &ndash; he was single and traveling solo. We were promptly instructed to get down to it or leave. We chose the latter (I&rsquo;ll have sex when I&rsquo;m good and ready, thank you very much).</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">During the day, Dan and I watched the pool games but decided to forego the &lsquo;human car wash&rsquo; as 80 people, young and old, lined up in their birthday suits to grind soap over each other.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Meanwhile, a woman casually gave a man oral sex by the pool bar, while another pair decided to have a quickie through their window to the cheerful applause of those tanning on sun loungers below.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Top tip given to us by one of the swingers: don&rsquo;t stick your head underwater in the nude pool at peak time unless you want to risk getting an eye infection. Dan opted for ocean dips only for days afterwards.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There were bodies of every shape and size, proudly showing off rolls, cellulite, saggy skin, scars and fake breasts. They couldn&rsquo;t care less and that&rsquo;s part of what makes this place so special &ndash; everyone is welcome.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To me, this is one of the biggest takeaways from my holiday. Spending a week in the buff is a pretty baffling experience. I&rsquo;m comfortable in my own skin but was still nervous when I first walked over to the nude side.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I got appreciative glances, which was a nice confidence boost, but it wasn&rsquo;t inappropriate staring, people were just curious. A few hours later, being naked felt natural because we were all in it together.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Frankly I&rsquo;ve received more persistent looks and unwanted lewd comments while fully dressed on the Tube.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Overall, I enjoyed the 24/7 nudity but it can also be exhausting &ndash; or it was for me, anyway. I began to feel like I wanted a sense of privacy, of having my body just to myself, of not being exposed, both literally and figuratively.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By day four, Dan and I decided to leave the grounds for a bit of normalcy.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That&rsquo;s apparently quite an unusual decision; most of the regular guests told us they had never explored the island, which is a pity &ndash; it&rsquo;s a beautiful country.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hedonism is famous here; everyone we talked to had heard rumors about what goes on (or has a family member or friend who works there).</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I browsed some shops and got the best jerk chicken I&rsquo;ve ever had from a shack by the side of the road. We headed back to the resort, where a few hours later, a couple &ndash; doctors from New York City &ndash; asked if we wanted some acid. We said no to the drugs but accepted the invitation to dine with them and their friends, including Annie* and Fred*.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They had been dating for years but unlike Sherri and Paul &ndash; who only swing if both of them are having sex &ndash; have a different rule called a &lsquo;hall pass&rsquo;. Put simply, Annie and Fred can do whatever they want without the other person being present and without clearing it first.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dan and I are purely platonic and while taking your mate to a sexual buffet might seem a tad unorthodox, it has its benefits.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We did a lot of &lsquo;normal&rsquo; (but naked) vacation stuff; like kayaking, snorkeling and drunkenly dancing under the stars. We&rsquo;re best friends so the nudity between us wasn&rsquo;t awkward in the slightest.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I also appreciated having a confidante to gossip with, without any pressure or sexual tension.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Novice swingers might be surprised to learn that a swingers resort isn&rsquo;t just about sex. It&rsquo;s actually all quite standard holidaying, like a NSFW version of an all-inclusive trip to Alicante, but with mostly Americans.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Many people wrongly believe that the lifestyle is a free-for-all when, in reality, most swingers have boundaries in place before attending an event. One couple I talked to were just there to watch and that was enough for them. Your experience is your own.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is only one rule that applies at all times: the importance of consent.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As for the burning question (I know you want to ask): yes, I did have sex.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have no regrets and I have learned a lot about myself. For instance, while I love hearing about and exploring other lifestyles, I prefer monogamy in my own sex and dating life. For now, anyway.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That being said, I&rsquo;m in awe of the people I talked to, who happily shared their stories with me.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They were unabashedly authentic, defying social norms around what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate relationships with regard to love, sex, and company. Furthermore, it's refreshing that there isn't any slut shaming.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I recall having a conversation with a bunch of people while seated in a bar, and no one seemed to mind that a couple next to us was enjoying a morning shag on a daybed. Never has "each to their own" rung truer.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I would advise anyone to experience hedonism, with or without the sex. Just remember to pack earplugs if you have trouble falling asleep.</span></p>