<p>Engaging a new romantic interest or rekindling your relationship with your long-term spouse can be accomplished through the exciting and entertaining practice of sexting. Therefore, you've come to the perfect place whether you're looking for new ways to improve your sexting skills or are unsure of how to begin sexting at all.</p>
<p>For your go-to sexting playbook, straight from the pros, keep scrolling.</p>
<p><strong>The Benefits of Sexting</strong></p>
<p>"Sexting has always been a great way to test the waters with someone new," Alexandra Lynne, co-founder and CEO of Fame Products, explains. Telling someone what makes you feel comfortable, secure, and enjoyable might be more simpler via text than face-to-face, particularly if you don't know them well. We may be our bravest selves when we text because of the anonymity it provides.</p>
<p>As Lynne notes, sexting also gives you a lot of freedom to experiment with your wants. "Since you're writing everything out, texting gives everyone a moment to collect their thoughts and to really think about what they're saying," she says. Because of this, it's also a fantastic method to explore your fantasies. You may be interested in bondage play, but feel a little shy about actually getting out the handcuffs? [Use] emojis and creative words to try it out."</p>
<p>And as if that isn't enough reason to let your thumbs lead the way to a pleasurable time, consider the fact that sexting is also less energy-intensive than in-person sex, can build up sexual tension in a relationship, and allows you to tap into other love languages than in-person sex, such as words of affirmation, points out Lilly Dalton, certified sex therapist and expert for LENO.</p>
<p><strong>How to Start Sexting</strong></p>
<p>Say you've matched with someone and had a date that went well. You're fairly certain that you have steamy chemistry and your flirting is becoming incrementally more risk. If you're considering getting more intimate over text, you'll want to gauge one another's boundaries, advises Lynne. Consider the following techniques to get the ball rolling:</p>
<p><strong>Determine your level of trust.</strong></p>
<p>Before diving in, be sure you've given some thought to how well you know and can trust your sexting partner. "Consider engaging in sexting only in the context of trusting relationships &mdash; or using an app like Snapchat that deletes content after a set amount of time has passed," advises Dalton.</p>
<p><strong>Ask your partner if sexting interests them.</strong></p>
<p>There's no better place to start than by being plain, simple, and direct, according to Cherrie Stone, a sex, love, life coach, and resident sex-pert at WOO More Play. "If you're both interested in moving forward, you can come up with some ground rules to create a safe sexting space to ensure you both feel comfortable," she says.</p>
<p><strong>Take sexual inventory.</strong></p>
<p>Fine recommends starting by making a "yes"/"no"/"maybe" sexual inventory list together. These lists &mdash; like this one from Scarleteen, which she recommends as it includes a whole non-physical section &mdash; ask questions like, "How do you feel about viewing porn with your partner?" or "How do you feel about receiving sexual images of your partner on your phone or email?" This way, you can cover your IRL fantasies as well as what virtual sex avenues may feel good &mdash; or not &mdash; to each of you, says Fine.</p>
<p><strong>Voice any concerns.</strong></p>
<p>If you have any particular worries or want to point out topics you'd prefer to avoid, you can call those out at this stage as well. "It's definitely not a bad idea to air out any concerns you may have in the open before getting your iMessage freak on," says Fine. "Anyone who isn't willing to chat through your safety concerns doesn't deserve to read you wax poetic on all things erotic anyway."</p>
<p><strong>The Best Sexting Techniques</strong></p>
<p>Whether you're just getting started sexting with a new partner or a veteran sexter who has been with their S.O. for years, you might want to try these expert-approved strategies &mdash; listed from beginner to more advanced.</p>
<p><strong>Play "Never Have I Ever" or "20 Questions."</strong></p>
<p>While you might think of these games as fodder for junior high parties and road trips, they can actually prompt fun and flirty stories, says Fine.</p>
<p><strong>Set up a sexy movie date.</strong></p>
<p>Before diving into watching something X-rated together, you can fire up Netflix and try something like Elite or the famous train sex scene in Risky Business. "Similar to your virtual wine and cheese night, set up a virtual movie night with Netflix Party and pick a film [or show] with a steamy scene," advises Fine. "Referencing what you found hot about what happened in the movie is another gentle way to introduce sex into the conversation."</p>
<p><strong>Share a favorite erotic story.</strong></p>
<p>If you're not prepared to share your own words, you can try someone else's, advises Fine. "This still gives you the chance to explore intimacy with someone and share your desires," she says. "This may also help quell some fears of rejection &mdash; if someone isn't into what you shared, it's just a story &mdash; not you."</p>
<p><strong>Ask questions.</strong></p>
<p>A combination of vulnerability and curiosity can open up the lines of hot communication."When we're asking a partner to be vulnerable with us in this way, it's helpful to model that vulnerability first," says Dalton. This can look like telling your partner what you want to do to them, which makes it clear that you're willing to meet them halfway in the conversation.</p>
<p>Or you can offer a sexy confession, then transition into a question &mdash; which can also double as a way to confirm consent. Dalton recommends something like:</p>
<p>For a new partner: &ldquo;There are so many things I look forward to exploring sexually with you. Would it be cool if I shared some of my ideas?"<br />For someone with whom you&rsquo;ve already been together IRL: &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t stop thinking about the last time we had sex. _____ was my favorite part. What was yours?&rdquo;<br />For either: &ldquo;Thinking about you has been turning me on. Would it be OK if I shared some of what I&rsquo;ve been thinking about?&rdquo;<br />In general, you'll want to start by owning where your head is &mdash; and then, ask a question that allows the other person to opt in or out of a more sexual conversation, notes Dalton. Consider questions that you also would be comfortable answering.</p>
<p>And you'll always want to ask permission before sending any media, says Stone. Try something like, "I want you to see how hot you make me. Would you be interested in FaceTiming?" or "That sounds so sexy &mdash; can you show me?". Trust your intuition, and check in to make sure you both feel comfortable engaging in these spaces, she says.</p>
<p>Describe what you plan to do with your partner the next time you're together.<br />"Choose an upcoming date or event, and use that to set the scene for a future sexual encounter," recommends Dalton. "Use language like, 'I want you to imagine the next time we're together when we're doing XYZ at your place.'"</p>
<p><strong>Lifestyle</strong></p>
<p>Playfully tease your partner.<br />No matter how novice or advanced you are with sexting, it can be a fantastic opportunity to experiment with what Dalton calls "playful withholding." Basically, you're virtually teasing your partner, reminding them of what they can't have because you're physically apart, she notes. "For example, send a photo that shows a little skin, but not total nudity," says Dalton. You can then tell your partner what you're doing to yourself, and let their imagination run wild.</p>
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<p><strong>Be directive.</strong></p>
<p>Telling your partner what you want them to do to themselves can be an empowering way to connect sexually over text. "Try encouraging your partner to masturbate while thinking about something specific, or take consensual control of how and when they make themselves orgasm," says Dalton.</p>
<p><strong>Role play.</strong></p>
<p>When implementing this technique, each partner takes on a persona that creates a new and sensual dynamic in the relationship, says Dalton. She recommends using made-up names or taking on characters from a show or movie you've watched together.</p>
<p><strong>How to Role Play in Bed Without Feeling Stupid</strong></p>
<p>How to Get the Most out of a Sexting Session</p>
<p>No matter what technique you're using, you'll want to bear the following "best practices" in mind to get the most out of the interaction.</p>
<p><strong>Be yourself.</strong></p>
<p>"There can be a lot of pressure when sexting to 'sound like' someone that you aren't," says Stone. "Use your authentic voice by saying what comes naturally to you."</p>
<p><strong>Ensure it's the right time and place.</strong></p>
<p>Although sexting can take place just about anywhere, at any time, you'll want to make sure you both have the time to devote to sexting and are in the right space (e.g. not at work or with family), says Stone.</p>
<p><strong>Go slow.</strong></p>
<p>"Just like in real-life sex, taking things slow ensures both people warm up and maximizes their pleasure," Stone asserts. "A slow burn makes the sexting session unforgettable."</p>
<p><strong>Learn the words your spouse uses to describe their body, and express your own preferences as well.</strong></p>
<p>"It pays to focus on this because words are very important during a sexting session and we have both positive and negative associations with different terms," Dalton explains. Do they favor "breasts" or "chests," for instance? "Do 'penis' or 'cock' turn them on more?" she asks. Additionally, you should consider your preferred language and use it either directly or in context (e.g. "I adore hearing you describe how you'd kiss my breasts").</p>
<p><strong>Lifestyle</strong></p>
<p>Request permission before using previously taken images or videos.<br />Remember that images have timestamps, and if you have each other's permission to exchange media, you run the risk of offending someone by sending a picture that was obviously not taken for your present relationship, Dalton says.</p>
<p><strong>When in doubt, rely on past experiences.</strong></p>
<p>It's rather common to be essentially speechless at the moment. "It's natural to run into performance anxiety and fear of judgment as you venture into the new territory of sexting," Dalton explains. You can then rely on a recollection of something you have previously appreciated. "If you're drawing a blank of what to say, draw from your past experiences that have derived the most pleasure," Stone advises.</p>
<p><strong>Tune into reciprocity.</strong></p>
<p>&ldquo;You might want to take that as a signal to check in and see where your partner's head is at if you've started a sexting session and they're not meeting you halfway,&rdquo; Dalton advises. If the other person isn't experiencing pressure, she suggests being explicit that there isn't any.</p>